Wow! What a fantastic week last week has been! Every day I realize more and more that (and it sounds terribly cliche reading it aloud to myself) each day is as beautiful and important as we make it. In each situation we get ourselves into, it is up to us to decide (keyword: Decision) what the outcome of that situation will be. I think we often forget that it is easy to take back the control in our lives after a period of time where it has felt like the whole world has been up against you. I must say, that after being in a meaningful relationship for more or less 3 years, it is also important to remember that once time moves along (of course we never stand still...or even so, even being stationary is making a conscious decision to move forward but not in a particularly productive and healthy way), it is best to make the most of the time that lay ahead and to embrace everything that has been presented to you, for you to make the absolute most of the unimaginable potential bestowed upon you.
In terms of moving away from a loved one--i.e. breaking up and moving on, it has definitely been a contemplative period of time. Some mornings, looking at the day ahead as a series of obstacles and challenges (that you're going to have to face alone) and rather wanting to roll over and pull the covers over your head. However, things do get better. As a wise friend told me a few months ago, "You'll see Judete, there will come a time where you start enjoying your own company. You'll start to become alive again and look forward to spending good ol' quality time with yourself". And I must say, I think that that piece of advice has made a significant contribution toward being excited to live again, and actually, for the first time discovering who and what I am. In my opinion, and upon experience, I think that it is so important to know yourself fairly to quite well before entering a relationship. If one were to think about it logically, if you are not in-tune enough with yourself, and do not know what you like or what you want out of life, how will you be able to pick a partner that accurately fits with who you are? I guess, you could say that you would be making a blind decision if you started dating someone before you really knew yourself. Also, and lastly on this topic, I have really thought about and realized how serious it is to make a commitment to another human being. We often forget what a big deal it is when we say that we are in a relationship with another person. Not only because it is a sacrifice on both ends at certain times, but also because you become very complexly intertwined in their lives. You start caring for their family, know all their pets' names, grating the cheese the way they like it to be done, have personal jokes and stories...I'm sure you get the point. My point therefore is; it is so special to be so close to another person, and one should think very carefully and not take lightly what it means to enter into such a promise. It is from this point of departure that I wanted to talk a bit about my weekend. While on the one hand, the social activities ambushed us Left, Right and Centre, it was also an opportunity for some growth and getting to know more about people and how they work. (Once again, the inner anthropologist in me makes a guest appearance) . Not only did I learn about how people interact with one another, but also how I engage and converse with others. There's a good line from a South African band's song where the lead singer says : "...and I'm so tired of hearing my own voice, wandering through these halls". What I take from that is that there comes a point after reflection and introspection that we start longing for some outside opinion and interaction with others. So, although it is important to become quiet inside and make sense of why everything is happening in our lives when it does, it's also important to get out there and to live! I have witnessed great moments of wisdom in the strangest and random places. I won't get into exactly where or when these moments took place (maybe because those parts are, in retrospect, irrelevant) but it struck me that even though we learn so much from our own experiences, how much can we not learn from others who may be going through the same things as we are, or even more so, completely different and new experiences? There is such value in paying attention to the ideas and thoughts of others; although they should never take precedence over our own, they can help to better educate our own ideologies or to edit the perceptions that we may have of things. I have met some exceptional people throughout the last couple of days. I have been left inspired and highly motivated to get out there and to do my thing! (whatever I want that to be). There is no time limit on becoming the person you want to be. We evolve on a daily basis; our dreams, goals, plans and opinions change and transform as we, ourselves change. I have, for the last while, sort of had a set trajectory for my life (let's call it a 2-4 year future plan), and now, I almost feel like saying, even though my plan was pretty cool, I'm bursting out of my chair at the thought that I actually have NO CLUE what the future may hold for me! I can decide to pack up and leave and travel at any time that I want to (and to anywhere in the world!). If I want to go to France for a few months, I can do that, If I decide that I want to work at a B&B in Stellenbosch, I can do that too. Everybody has been saying "the sky is the limit" for millennia, but (and I hate to admit this) I think I am finally starting to understand what they really mean, and all I needed was just a little reminder that I am free to make my life exactly the way I want to. All that it takes is the courage for me to make a decision and to Do it! And well, to get a job that will allow me to save up for a ticket. Lastly, to end off the post, the social itinerary this past weekend included some of the following locations: "The Union" in Johannesburg; a location that keeps changing periodically (and luckily for my friends and I, we made it there on one of the last nights it was still open!), Capital Craft; here in Pretoria; a fresh, new place (which blurs the lines between the typical Johannesburg and Pretoria social experience); it sells craft beer (it's in the name...) and some really good burgers (of which I have yet to sample), Tiger Tiger Pretoria-for a university res' after-party, and lastly, Park Acoustics; a monthly open-air event that takes place in Fort Schanskop which is also here in Pretoria. Until next time! P.S. on the menu for dinner tonight will be: Home-made bread stuffed with olives, red onions and cherry tomatoes. I'll be sure to add a photo of my creation (if the bread lasts long enough for me to take a photo of it!) x
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorHi there, my name is Judete Fourie. I am a twenty-something-year-old writer living in Stellenbosch in SA's Western Cape. Follow my day to day adventures that involve wine, wit and braaibroodjies. Archives
June 2017
Categories |